Friday, September 25, 2009

He knows

Sweet siestas,

I have just finished reading yet again your comments from the last blog. Nearly a month has passed since you started responding about where you were in life at that moment. And for a month, the Spirit has brought you to mind and beckoned me to prayer. At times with a lump in my throat, at times with claps of joy because I knew God was working on your behalf, at times on my dirty carpet, face down, and at other times just saying the all powerful name of Jesus on your behalf.

I wondered how the house-hunting situation was going. I wondered if God had provided jobs for a couple of you yet. And then I wondered if He hadn't, could you testify with me about His faithfulness to provide. I wanted to weep over the several comments left anonymously, all denoting rejection, hurt, and feelings of being overwhelmed. Your pain clearly so deep, anonymity a valid grasp for covering. You are covered dear sister...covered indeed under the wings of the Almighty. And lastly, there were a few honest confessions of sin. Don't you know mercy was coming new and mighty that moment?

I told you I would share my own answer. And so here are some phrases that paint a picture of the recent weeks: confused, feeling lost, rejected, rejected, did I mention rejected?, fightin' mad at the enemy, fightin' mad at myself, broken, thankful, humbled, in-stink'in-secure (so tired of that one), deeply loved, chosen, and waiting.

It's Friday night, I'm eating some of my husband's ice cream (shhh! Grin), and I'm mentally pooped. But this is what I wanted to say before I closed. This is what I know.

He knows. He thinks about it. He resolves and purposes to do something about it. And He knows you.

Hurting friend, He is intimately acquainted with your grief and sees your tears (Psalm 56:8). He knows.
Insulted and grieving from painful words or actions, those insults have already fallen on Him (Psalm 69:9). He knows.
Child of God, struggling in sin, your High Priest is able to sympathize with your weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15). He knows.
Waiting on a job, a prodigal to return, a spouse to be what you think he/she should be? Waiting on an apology (that may never come), waiting to be married, waiting ....waiting...waiting. Redirect all that difficult waiting unto the LORD, for it is He who ultimately fulfills your desires in Himself. But don't think for a second that He doesn't know (Psalm 130:6). He knows.
Rejected and lonely sister, the LORD, the King of the Universe, receives you (Psalm 27) and rejoices over you with singing (Zeph. 3:17). From the perfect One, who was very much one with His Father, to then be rejected by His own people and abandoned for a moment by His Father, He knows this one.
And to the overwhelmed one, you can cast all those responsibilities and anxieties at the foot of His throne. I suggest maybe throwing them there to make sure they leave your hand. For the One who gives you peace, is able to handle that which you entrust to Him. He knows (1 Peter 5:7).

And not only does He know, but He cares. He's concerned about it. He's concerned about you. He has not forgotten you. How could He when your name is inscribed on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16)? The One whose hand etched 10 laws upon two tablets of stone commanded that we keep those laws. And the One whose same hand bears your name knew we wouldn't be able to do so. And so it is true that the One whose hands bear your name also bear the scar of a nail.

The LORD, the LORD GOD, knows (2 Sam 7:20).

Having taken dance for over 18 years, I can count on my hand how many times I've been a klutz. Not because I'm any better, but I've had some serious training. My single hand count just turned into two however. Last Friday, I ran into a corner wall that jutted out of the hotel room Nate and I were in. (Don't make me discuss the details all out here in world wide web fashion...let's just say Nate was asleep, and my double thud was so loud that it woke him up! (one thud for hitting the wall, the other for hitting the floor) Once I got through the sobs, we had the giggles until 2 am. And an ice-pack covering my goose egg. It has throbbed off and on for about a week, because I'm a cool kid like that. With the pain of my forehead, my testifying goose egg, and my mental hyper-spirituality at times, I couldn't help but to think about God telling the Israelites to impress His commandments upon their hearts, write them on their doorframes, and bind them on their foreheads (Deut. 6:4-9). Because that is how well they were supposed to know the laws. And so a phylactery they wore, literally, wrapped around their forehead, with parchments of Scripture contained inside of the phylactery box. They were to know those laws girlfriend.

I seriously doubt God has any need to wear a phylactery, since A. He's not in bodily form and B. since Jesus was and is the Word, He would have to phylactery Himself up....I don't think that works. Outright heresy. But, I can't help but grin reflecting on the truth that God, without a doubt, has you on His mind. No box necessary.

He knows dear one. Run to those mighty everlasting arms, for He will not fail you.


Heather said...

I needed this ... Thanks girl!

Toknowhim said...

God has gifted you Shelly... A wisdom beyond your years. He is what we all need...

Sending love to you sweet one...

Kelly S. said...

What a difference a month makes. My circumstances have changed again, but HE IS FAITHFUL. And so gracious to keep telling me. His Word is life. Thank you for this post, it spoke directly to me today. Sorry about your goose egg, but I am not kidding my homework was out of Deut. 6 and complete with pictures of the phylactery box. I was familar with it, but now with renewed understanding. Praise You Lord.

Heb. 10.23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope with our wavering for He who promised is faithful.
thanks for your prayers
love you

Katie said...

Hi Shelly! I am 26 years old, married, and I live in North Alabama. I read your blog off and on, and I want you to know that I totally get the struggle of waiting for a job. Every word you used to describe your feelings right now is every word you would find in my journal to desribe mine. I lost my job a year and 1/2 ago, but it was the best thing that has happened to me because this past year God has become real to ME. He has been working on reprogramming me, healing me, changing me. He has put an enduring passion in me to know His Word, which is very weird because I never cared about knowing it before I become desperate for it. Right now, I am seriously praying about going to seminary just to learn, which is a far cry from the BS in psychology I got. ha! My sister-in-law has started a ministry and she speculates that I will go and become her personal research assistant for her Bible studies (that would be the ultimate dream!!!). I have no clue what is next. God is constantly on me about thinking more about what's next and questioning it more than just obeying His command of being still and knowing Him. This was easy last year, because it was so new to me. Now, I feel antsy (I'm not sure if its a word, but its how my people explain having a nervous energy to just do something). Do you feel this? Do you find it hard focusing on preparing in this season by just sitting at His feet and let Him disciple you in prep for what's next?

Reading your blog and about what you have been learning through your studies in seminary, is partly what got me to dreaming about seminary. How did you know for sure that's what God wanted for you? Do you have any advice for me? My email is, if you do. Thanks, Shelly, you are truly amazing and reading your blog challenges me and makes me want to love Jesus so much more, I can't wait to see when what God has in store for you is revealed!


AbbyLane said...

reminding myself of this after 4 straight days of "mommy"


Teal said...

What an encouraging word, my sweet friend! Almost as encouraging as your voice on the other end of my phone as i cried in the housewares aisle of Marshalls;-) my heart misses you.

and p.s. don't forget the time you slipped on the steps outside the great room and fell on your oh-so-cute rear while i laughed hysterically nearby? ahhh the memories.

Lindsee Lou said...

He DOES know. I loved this.

I love you, my friend and your heart for people. It's a breath of fresh air and so encouraging.

Anonymous said...

I am the one who was "overwhelmed"....

It's thrills and humbles my soul the way God could use the words of someone who I've never met to reach down from heaven right into the heart of desperate girl like me.

Thank you. Thank you more than you'll ever know.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Please tell me why you are WAITING on anything? Write your darlin' self a book, we will all buy it so we can have a highlighted, dogeared treasure of your wisdom, and there you go.

Problem solved.

You're welcome.

I love you.



Ang baylis said...

You ministered to my heart. I am grateful beyond words. Thank you for your obedience. Don't you ever change!
Love, Angie xoxo

Denise said...

God is pleased with your transparency, your tender heart toward His people, your willingness to share wise words He has spoken to you. One thing I have learned is that the struggles I have been through (esp. the painful ones) help me to be more compassionate and open to others. Thank you, Lord Jesus! Thank you, sweet Shelly, for ministering to us! I love praying for you!

"We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests." Psalm 20:5

Darla said...

i love you! i am so late on getting here. and still a timely word for me.