You are beautiful to me

They are appalled
Your laws believed to be confining
Your truth believed to be irrelevant
Your life believed to be merely that of a great spiritual man

They are appalled
Your words believed to be heresy (John 6:52-54)
Your ascension believed to be unreal
Your existence believed to be finite rather than a living, continuously involved, intimate God

They are appalled
Your appearance so disfigured, beyond that of any man
Your form marred beyond human likeness (Isaiah 52:14)
Your kingship questioned and mocked

But I am in love
Your laws my freedom
Your truth my delight (Psalm 119:14)
Your life perfect, the atonement for my sin

And I am in love
Your words, divine revelation of the wonders of your Person
Your ascension, now at the right hand of God, ruling over all (1 Peter 3:22)
Your existence, with the first thru the last of all generations (Rev. 1:8)


And I am in love
Your appearance, robed in majesty and armed with strength
Your form, a slain Lamb at the center of the Throne, a Spirit, omnipresent
Your kingship, the Holy One of Israel, besides you, there is no God (Isaiah 43:15)

My zeal consumes me
Show us your beauty Lord

Because He said so

When the Israelites cried out to the LORD because of Midian, ⁸ he sent them a prophet, who said, “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: I brought you up out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ⁹ I rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians. And I delivered you from the hand of all your oppressors; I drove them out before you and gave you their land. ¹⁰ I said to you, ‘I am the LORD your God; do not worship the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you live.’ But you have not listened to me.”  ¹¹ 

The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. ¹² When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.

The account of Gideon is at the center of a seemingly carefully constructed story of the twelve judges. Just like the judges before him, he is walking in a season which bears the weight of sin. The Israelites failed to destroy the Canaanites and their gods. Thus, a pattern is established. A Deuteronomic cycle is initiated. The Israelites cease serving Yahweh. He abandons them to their enemies. They eventually cry out for help. And God answers them by raising up a judge who will lead them into victory over their oppressor by His Spirit. At some time later, the cycle repeats itself.

Gideon is living in the beginning stages of such a cycle. God's people have not served Him. God has given them over to the Midianites. The Midianites ravage the Israelites' land, taking their crops and their livestock. The Israelites have to seek shelter in mountain clefts and caves for protection (6:1-6).

And there Gideon is. Threshing wheat in a winepress in the attempt to safeguard that which is sustenance for he and his family. Working in a place not conducive to his work. Hiding himself, his life and his food from the enemy who steals.

And there the angel of the LORD appears. Speaking a name over a man who does not reflect such an attribute yet. Calling forth life over those things which dwelt in the bay of fear and death. Empowering an available spirit to do that which He had called him to do.

"The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

We aren't provided with a prior account of Gideon, but I'm going to make the safe assumption that Gideon didn't feel very mighty or like much of a warrior. Now I will certainly give him some credit for being out there threshing wheat. He's being obedient to his call at that point in time. He's doing the small thing in the midst of challenging circumstances. But, when He hears God's call, his response is somewhat of a respectful 'Pardon me?' His lack of God-centered confidence continues: 'But I am the least in my family.' It gets worse, bless his heart. He asks for three different signs from God before he attempts the first battle and works in the  night on one occasion out of fear that others may see him. 

Maybe that's why I love my boy Gideon so much. Maybe that's why I love my God so much more. I can relate.

For when God speaks, words do not come back void. When God speaks, He accompanies it with action. When God speaks, heaven and earth are created out of nothingness. When God speaks, it is so.

It is a done deal for Him. Because He can see His purposes to completion.

And He does.

"But the Spirit of the LORD clothed Gideon, and he sounded the trumpet." And the Midianites were defeated with Gideon and his 300 men (Judges 6:33 - 7:25)

A man going about his ordinary business called to something extraordinary. A man lacking belief in what God said he would do, even after the signs, who was not just called to something extraordinary, but deemed something extraordinary.

A mighty warrior you are Gideon. Not because you have acted as one. Not because you have won a single battle. But because I say you are. And I watch over my Word to see it accomplished (Jeremiah 1:12).

The LORD God calls those things which are not, as though they are (Romans 4:17).

God calls you by name child. Dare to believe you are who He says you are. For even if you do not feel it is your present reality, the God who speaks can make it so. And you'll know it was all Him. Go forth, mighty warrior, in the empowering Spirit of Christ who is with you.

My olive oil was MIA

 ¹⁷Though the fig tree should not blossom,
   nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
   and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
   and there be no herd in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
¹⁹GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
   he makes my feet like the deer’s;
   he makes me tread on my high places

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Habakkuk has challenged my prayer life lately. Though my preference would be to expound upon those three verses for three weeks, I don't think that's wise seeing as I haven't blogged in a year and I'd be boring y'all to tears. Instead, I'm going to note those seven words that have struck my spiritual core: 

"Yet I will rejoice in the LORD"

I'm stubborn enough in my faith to believe God for the impossible;  I know He delights in it (Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 32:17, Luke 1:37). On top of that, I'm learning to consistently ask Him to exceed my expectations when I believe those things for which I'm asking are in accordance with His purposes and glory in the church and in Christ (Ephesians 3:20-21). My intent is not to come before His throne in an over-confident manner, but I do believe we can approach it boldly, as a daughter who acknowledges her God's authority and power.

I'd like to call a recent season of mine "lack.' Not like Habakkuk's  where he experienced the depletion, failure and absence of those things which were life-giving to him. But a lack nonetheless. A little spiritual, emotional, relational, material vacancies of some things that caused me to walk through 'Lack.' Now if I'm in Lack, I'm bound and determined to not miss out on what God may have for me there. Perhaps Lack and I need to be friends so that I can know God to be my Provider. Or maybe I've got Lack because there is an area of sin in my life that has put up a wall between the blessing and favor of my Father, who may withhold  out of loving discipline until due time. Perhaps I'm bonding with Lack out of deep emotion over a loved one who is walking through a challenging season and I'm just not quite okay when they're not walking in the 'more' that I want so badly for them. So I've got some lack. The blossoms aren't there and the olive has failed to produce. And I'm not seeing the cattle and I even live in Nashville.

So one early morning, I prayed. I declared the promises of His 'Yes' over some things. I told the Lord how I knew He could deliver the impossible. By His grace, I truly did believe Him. I believed His Word. And I trusted His timing. I was all for whatever He wanted to do. And then I stopped my mouth long enough to listen and turned to my reading for the day.

And there, in those seven words, my spirit was stilled when I realized it wasn't more faith or perseverance that He was calling me to, but some joy. And not just a prim and proper clap of praise, but some serious celebrating. A flat out exultation in my God.

Not to ask Him for the 'more' I knew He could meet. Not to press in and let Him meet those 'needs' of mine. Not to believe by faith that those 'Yes' responses were mine in Christ.

And not that those aren't right. But I'd missed it. I was about to walk with 'Lack' as a martyr instead of a joyful child of God. Ain't right I tell you. Just ain't right.

Maybe each of those lacks have not been met yet. Maybe the circumstance hasn't changed. But, when I lift my gaze to the God who strengthens me, and He lifts me to tread on the high places, joy cometh. A little smile, a nod of who He is in the middle of the day and perhaps a flailing hand of praise in the middle of a jog. 

Choose joy in the God who never fails you. For the fruit may not yield. That person may disappoint you. The job interview may not come yet. The child may still be a prodigal. Or the dream may wait. But your God is One worth celebrating. You may be surprised to find that you, who are willed to do so, can still bear much fruit when that which around you is barren. The joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

Stirrings in my soul

Something is stirring in my soul. It has been for quite some time now, with the weight increasing over the last several months. So here, back in the sweet blog-land that I've missed, I will walk forward in one way that know how and write.

Hanging up my cape

I'm not Superwoman. Nope.

Throughout the week, I long to connect with my siestas. I long to pour my heart out on these url-tagged pages in typical long-winded fashion over my dear Jesus. I ache when I cannot seem to find the time to express the beatings of my heart.

But for this season, I can't seem to make it happen. I have a new job that I started about a month and a half ago that requires me to rise and shine at 5:15. I jog after work (for a number of reasons) and don't get home until 7:15'ish pm. Thus, by the time I eat dinner with my dear man, shower and prepare for the next day, it's time for yours truly to hit the bed for some needed beauty rest again. Grin.

It's all I can do to keep up with the laundry, my house, a phone call or two to my immediate family, a text or two to my near and dear buddies here in Nashville and my church world. There are a list of things that I have had to take off my beloved to-do list for this season because I simply cannot maintain the unrealistic expectation that I can be Super-wife, Super-employee, Super-daughter, Super-sister, Super-friend, Super-stay fit and eat well girl and Super-blogger (to name a short few). I'm not much of a Superwoman at all actually.

In the sleepy hours of the early mornings, I cry out first to be God's alone. He's my Hero, and as I see it, that's all I really need anyway. Anything else as a need in my life must be an overflow of His Spirit working in me.

For His superior reasons alone and for His glory, I can't write as I would like to right now. I feel like I'm not fully alive when I can't, but I trust Him.

If any of you have some wisdom about juggling the demands of this life we live, I'll gladly receive it and take it to the Throneroom to ponder. Until then, know that I love you dearly and think of you frequently during my week, even in the early hours of a day while the stars are still twinkling in the sky.

Nate the great

Sisters!

I've got so much to catch you up on, but I don't know quite where to begin. I've got some Jesus thoughts, some new temporary job thoughts, some of my recent birthday thoughts, and some pouting thoughts that I'm not in Houston this weekend for the Scripture Memory Celebration :)

I got a recent spirit reminder to 'be diligent' (it was a loving command, but a mighty strong one), so here I am, hoping to discuss each of the above mentioned topics throughout the next couple of weeks. But to start things off, I just wanted to invite you to join me in prayer for my husband as he leaves for Thailand tomorrow for two weeks. He and his business partner (Stephen Proctor) are going to lead visual worship at a conference as well as serve those who have labored for the Gospel in Asia, many in 'closed countries.' [Nate will also be doing some live art at the conference like he is able to do at the Deeper Still events...I'm his biggest fan when he does those things. Actually, a total dork about it. Grin].  It is usually a time of intense joy and spiritual battle for them as they take hold of this privilege. Below, is a short letter from Nate about the trip. And below his letter is a link that shows a short video from Stephen. I humbly beseech your prayers upon them and upon the thousands who will be gathered together for one purpose - His Name and His Reknown.

Hey friends,

I find it extraordinary that we continue to find ourselves in an international terminal headed to various nooks and crannies of the earth. It’s still hard to reconcile the fact that I couldn’t love more what we do and the continual clear leading of the Lord to do it! For however long we are allowed to keep engaging with people around the world we are going to do it, and I wish all of you could come along! 

It continues to be so clear that God is present and working all over the globe! It’s often tempting to think that when we go to foreign countries in any sort of missions capacity we are somehow bringing God to that place. The more we travel and see our lives woven together with men and women of other cultures, we discover crystal clear evidence that God is fluent in every language; He knows the nuances of every culture, He speaks to anyone who will listen. He is there when we get off the plane and He is there when we leave no matter how spiritual we feel we’ve been! 

Soon, we’ll be headed back to Thailand and Hong Kong. We’ve already got so many friends over there. People who are passionate about their pursuit of the Lord. Our desire is to take a few steps with them and perhaps encourage them a bit along the way. As much as it would be wonderful for all of you to be along with us, we know that isn’t possible, so we’ll do our best to give you a window into their world. Please pray for us. We need it all the time. 

Love you guys,

Nate

Stephen's words about the mission trip

Love y'all,

You

My sweet sisters,

I wanted to check in and let you know that I'm alive! Nate and I have been hiding, so I've not been on the computer in about a week. I've been sitting still, both physically and spiritually. Rest...sweet sweet rest. And time for two lovebirds to have some long overdue extended face time together.

There have been some messy events happening around he and I recently. Life really. Not really over our own personal lives, but over some of our dearest loved ones. Just the pure difficult reality of life. The battle is fierce and unrelenting. And so is the purpose of our God for His people and His glory.

I'll reconnect here in blogworld with you soon. But as I thought about you in the dwindling days of our vacation, I wanted to leave you with a youtube clip. It's a prayer, rooted in the African American spoken word, which I love. I was actually present at this church during its evening of worship back in 2001. The Spirit used her words to alter me and I have not forgotten them. I pray their power and life still you in your busy day and cause your heart to seek His face.

Psalm 27:8 "My heart says of you, 'Seek His face!'

                 Your face, LORD, I will seek."