In the midst of it all...

Dear siestas and miestas,

(If you don't know what that means, I'll have to get back to you on another day). For some time now, I have had a hunger to sit down in this blog world with you and share a word I received out of 1 Samuel. I'm itching to get the beatings of my heart to translate themselves to the rhythmic pounding noise of the keys on my laptop. But as you can see, I have yet to do so. You have all been so gracious and patient with me in my lack of typing anything serious in blog world as I have adjusted to Boston, seminary, and relationships.

I think sometime soon in these next few days, I may actually type something about my Beloved Jesus again :) But you see, I am receiving that for which my heart yearned here in seminary: some good holy beatings, some major humbling, and the grateful awareness of the poverty of my spirit. I have said it in the initial days of my blog, and for those who are newcomers, I'll say it again: I want to handle the Word with accuracy and Truth. I have a BIG God who I adore more than anything on this earth, and a BIG God who is so holy and powerful that His Word causes us to tremble. So, out of both love and a holy fear, I do not want to speak of something which I know nothing about, or have not already been taught and brought through by my Greatest Teacher. Otherwise, I receive a holy beating straight from Him :)

If I were to walk in my flesh and all of its insecurities, I am sure that I would probably never open my mouth again to share with you the things His Words speaks to me (Our insecurities can be so self-absorbing and prideful can't they girlfriends?) But dependent upon His resurrection power, I assure you I will not keep me mouth closed upon the things which He has asked me to declare from one generation to the next...to speak of His praises, to declare who He is, to boast in Him.

By His sweet grace alone, I have fallen more in love with my Jesus. Somewhere in the midst of parsing new Greek words, somewhere in the midst of pronouncing Greek with a southern accent, somewhere in the midst of taking so many notes in a New Testament class that my hand hurts, somewhere in the midst of going to Starbucks at 6:30 am on MWF to study Greek with my roomie, and somewhere in the midst of many of my paradigms being shattered by more defined interpretation and application teachings, He has captured me - again. His life-giving Word catapults my heart upon the spiritual floor of always-necessary- humility. The more I seek to know Him, the more I realize how much I do not know. Apart from a few other thoughts, I am not sure that I could ask for anything better while here at seminary. For it has been an absolute joy to see that somewhere in the midst of this new craziness, He Himself is in my midst. Again, and again, I ask Him to balance the passions of our hearts with the passions of our minds for Him. So my God has quite the job on His hands with me: I'm an undeniable nerd, and a passionate extremist! :)

The One who is ever More, invites us to know Him. The One who is unsearchable, invites us to discover Him. And to the One who alone can satisfy, I beg that He may grant us a holy dissatisfaction with our current state, only to be given the passion to know and love Him more. He is all that your hearts could long for sweet friends. I am so jealous for you to have more of Him. Not because you do not have Him now, but because He is so much more.

On a lighter note, I invite you to a few recent quotes that have occurred in my life lately here as a seminarian:
1) My roomie (Teal) about 6 am one morning getting ready for our last minute cramming session for Greek before a big quiz: "Uhm...Girl...Do you think they'll drop the lowest quiz grade? (Pause) Or is that just the undergraduate in me?!" (Me = bent over laughing...)
2) Our Greek teaching assistant to one of my hysterical girlfriends in class: "What do you suggest we do with these multiple prepositional phrases here in the translation of this sentence?" (My friend's response) "Girl! I say just get rid of those things!" (My thoughts exactly...that would be less to translate for my confused mind!).
3) Same friend mentioned in #2 in reference to her viewpoint upon the women's role in leading, teaching, etc. We had just had a very intense, unbiased, and wonderful discussion about this in class. (Note: if you're not feeling a bit humorous today, maybe skip this one. OR if you think I'm going to present my stance - theologically - here - there's no need to look for that either).
I'll paraphrase: "Giiirrrrrrll. I mean, I do not have a problem with my soon-to-be husband taking the lead and responsibility to be the pastor of a church. I'm okay not being an ordained pastor. 'Cuz you know girl ... Eve, she went and got all messed up in the Garden. I know myself, and as soon as somebody come bringing me some fake Prada, I'll be all deceived thinking its real, and bring everybody else with me." (Have you ever heard the mention of Prada in the same sentence of defining the role of a woman in the church?! lol)

I love you each and miss you dearly. Nate has a post coming soon, so stay tuned (And for clarification: He's still not allowed on my blog - it is too much of my heart. But I have agreed to let him post a blog back to all of you sweet and hysterical spiritual sisters and mama's that posted on the last one. He will email it to me, and I will post it.)
Hugs ... and so much more