Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I'm a blonde on the inside

My past couple of days...

1) I am 'house-sitting' for a precious family this summer that spends the majority of their summer in Panama City at BigStuf Camps. (This is a camp for youth with a heart of worship and incredible teachings by Louie Giglio, Jared Herd, and Stuart Hall (the latter being the one for which I am house-sitting)). My Jehovah-Jireh cannot be false to Himself or His Word, so staying here this summer in order to save up for seminary in the fall is nothing but a testimony of His glory.

Now that they're gone, I am sole caretaker of their two dogs: Kaaeman (a black lab) and Rocky (a mixed Shitzu and Poodle = Shepoo :) ). I love dogs and the extra alarm system they are, but I'm a college graduate needing to get used to the 6 am bathroom and breakfast call they need.

Night #1 with the boys (the dogs) = me with a pillow over my head because one of them decided to serenade me with his snoring.
Night #2 with the boys = (bark bark bark!) I manage to roll out of bed realizing that this means it's time to get up to let them out and feed them. I don't know how, but I somehow managed to get down the stairs without tumbling down. I felt like a truck had hit me. I'm walking towards the door and scratching my head at how dark it is outside. (Can't make it make sense in my sleepy state). OHHHH - WAIT! That would be because it's 3 o'clock in the morning! ROCKY!!!!! Get IN THE BED! (I know they probably laughed at me).

2) Kaaeman apparently thinks that I have dry skin. At least twice during the hour he embraces my legs and thighs with his slobbery cold nose :( I have tried to tell him that I use Jergens.

3) I am also trying to learn the language of ShePooLa (Shitzu + Poodle + Lab). We don't know each other well enough. Hence, when they come to me in full slobbery cold nose force, I don't know if they need to use the bathroom, want to go outside and play, or if I'm in their spot on the couch. You will find me walking around doing all sorts of things to determine what their needs are. (Again - I am sure they are laughing at me).

4) I set the house alarm off the first night of my stay here. No mam - not your typical - hmm...the alarm is going off - moment. I'm talking you would think a parade of 500 police sirens had just landed upon the house to join in a terrifying 'whoop whoop' sound (Not Kirk Franklin style). I ran around the house like a chicken with my head cut off and it took me the rest of the evening to calm down.

5) I have been asked twice in one week (as well as twice the week before) from which highschool did I just graduate? :( NONE!!! Because I'm 24, not 17!!! I particularly liked the stares I got from the 16 year old boys at the movie gallery. What's a girl to do? :( Is it that bad!!!!

6) A kind gentlemen asked me (his waitress) last night what kind of drink the 'Mandarin Blossom' was. (Now, please know that I don't have the time to explain to you right now why my job may appear to you as an official 'stumbling block' if I serve alcohol in my waitressing duties. To be short: God has called me to the restaurant world a number of summers now; it is one of the darkest places of ministry I have ever had to fight in, love in, and depend upon Him in. You could not imagine the depravity behind those closed doors.)

Back to the 'Mandarin Blossom' gentlemen...Uhmm...My response: It's one of our premium fruity cocktails sir. (Holding my breathe hoping that answer would suffice). Nope...He wants more details and asked a handful of questions I couldn't answer. Thus, I had to go ask the bartender.

Now, if this poor gentlemen could even fathom my overly-analytical mind and alcohol ignorance, he would have politely excused me from even attempting to answer such a question due to my previous alcohol serving experience.

For a straight entire summer, when I had guests asks me for a 'Long Island Iced Tea,' do you know what I brought them? (Insert - for those of you who don't know, it is one of the strongest mixed drinks you could have featuring about 4 different kinds of alcohol). I wasn't sure what it was and was tired of asking others about the many things I didn't know. So, using my great skills of deductive reasoning, I knew what it MUST be!
Thought process = Okay. We get a lot of tourist from up North down here (in southeast GA). So, they must be 'yankees' (no harm here). And Yankees are like, from the state of NY, which equals Long Island! And in Long Island, NY they don't have sweet tea! So they must be wanting UNSWEET TEA!!! Yes, that's it! They want unsweet tea! I can do that!!!
Yep. The alcoholic drink, if made correctly, is even supposed to look exactly like an iced tea would. (Who would've thought?).
So, if you're wanting any alcohol from me, you're going to get an unsweet tea. And this guy that wanted a Mandarin Blossom might as well have been ordering a bouquet of flowers from me.

I awoke at the appropriate 6 am this morning to let the dogs out (officially). I stood outside lifting my eyes to the opening sky taking Jesus in and letting Him minister to my heart. And bless Him - He loved on my 'blonde' heart a little with some of His glory. He brought TWO DEER into the backyard (A major highway is behind the yard, so this is NOT typical deer friendly land. I have no idea where they were coming from and even now I'm trying to figure out if I was dreaming!). They stole my breathe away, and then scampered off.

I waved my hands in the air doing a sleepy morning dance to my Jesus. I kept excitedly asking Kaaemen and Rocky if they too saw the deer? (No response...at this point, I am sure they just think I am an idiot.)

Our God is quite glorious is He not!?? I LOVE how He loves us. I love that He keeps me humble enough to be a big God to me. And I love knowing that He doesn't care if I don't know what a 'Long Island Iced Tea' is, nor if I know ShePoLa. He loves me just the same.


Lindsee said...

You are too funny! People love to call me a blonde on the inside, I know it seems like I am at times, but I am a brunette at heart!

But, next week, I will be the blonde! Oh, how exciting.

Have fun House Sitting.

P.S. Are you house sitting for Stuart? He came to my camp Senior year. I loved him! He can bring the word. And, I love that their at PCB. I was just there!!! :)

connorcolesmom said...

You crack me up.
BTW: enjoy the looking young thing. I am now 33yr and until about 2 yrs ago everyone thought I was about 22. It use to annoy me until they stopped saying it. Now I just wonder how old do I look - 43...?
You said you are in Southeast Georgia - where?
I am not far from Atlanta it sure would be fun to meet up and chat - hehe
Have fun dog sitting! Dogs crack me up with their enthusiasm and boundless energy!
3am - Oh MY!!
God bless,

Breathing His Joy said...

I bet you were thinking -hmmmm I wonder if I could go to the gym - and then you snapped back into reality!! :)

Enjoy house sitting!

Lisa said...

You are so funny!! Don't all of us brunettes have a little blonde down deep?
I love that you got excited over the deer. We have them all over the place here and I never get tired of them.

Debra said...

I am a lover of unsweet tea so maybe we would get along great...

jennyhope said...

I am going to read your latest blog-o-la but I just got your comment (I have to take a quick shower while Morgan is sleeping). I have no idea who sara evans is...I guess I am out of the loop. just wanted to give you a shout out. after all the trauma last night, I got no sleep then I fell all the way down the stairs this morning...rod laughed. nothing broken PTL!

jennyhope said...

ok, i love you girl. you and i are so much alike it is not even funny! I AM OH SO JEALOUS that you get to go to seminary! one thing...i do not do pets of any kind...so have fun house sitting. all morgan will know is that her mommy is allergic to pets therefor we can not have any! i know you are shining for Jesus in that rest. Also, no fair I am older than you. People do tell me that I am not old enough to have a baby and I still get the what school do you go to? enjoy that for a while!

Sharon said...

I was in the restaurant business for over 7 years before I retired. I was in the back of the house. It is not a world I would ever want to have to go back to. I was not living for the Lord at the time and it was still like taking a bath in a septic tank everyday.
I still love cooking--I was in fine dining-but I don't miss those years. The restaurant business is most surely qualified as a mission field.
I'm not a blond and it took me a long time to figure out some of those drinks-- being brought up in a Baptist home did not help. ;)

Denise said...

You are so HILARIOUS!!! I love that word ... almost as much as I love the word GLORIOUS, which describes my God!

Thanks for making me laugh ... I needed that!

Your Acworth friend,